a general sigh

My enthusiasm for this blog has been steadily dwindling. I started the thing with good intentions, but my desire to create a kind of inspirational scrapbook has become more of a chore than a relief. I used to love stumbling upon new imagery, words, sounds...but now I feel obligated to seek it out. "Stumbling" has become forced.

This is due, partly, to the fact that there is an audience, (albeit small, but wandering eyes nonetheless.) I write differently when people are watching. Whether it's one or a dozen, I create a sense of pressure for myself, and my drive to explore says "so long!"

I don't want to be boring, but I feel boring. If my original intent is for personal satisfaction, then why does it bother me when I post too much fashion and not enough interior design? I don't know.

I've reached a point where I am in dire need of inspiration. I have writer/photographer/general creator's block. Between the holidays, strep throat, moving my mother, and remodeling my house, I haven't found much time to go beneath the surface. It's starting to gnaw at me...